Gift-giving might seem like a pretty cool, ego-stroking, good time, but let’s cut the crap. It’s more than just handing over some random junk and acting like you've just saved the world.
Barf.
It’s supposed to be about showing you actually give a damn. Remember?
Who-da thought.
But so many of you screw it up in two major ways: either you blow your entire paycheck on something no one asked for (or wants), or you pick stuff based on your own weirdo preferences instead of thinking about what the recipient wants.
Sound familiar?
Well, guess what? I'm going to call you out on these two king-sized mistakes and show you how to avoid them so your gift-giving doesn’t totally suck.
1. Stop Spending More Than You Can Afford
It's not rocket science.
In a world where stupidly expensive crap is all over social media, even the smartest among you gets caught up in trying to outdo everyone else. According to Bankrate, 28% of you holiday shoppers straight-up admit you're overspending your budget.(1)
And that's just for those of you who are brave enough to admit it.
Conservatively, that's one in four of you spendaholics blowing your cash on gifts like you're some kind of Santa messiah.
All that overspending leads to unnecessary stress and destroys the whole point of giving.
Here's a Dave Ramsey no-brainer alert: set a damn budget!
Before you even think about stepping one foot inside a store or start cracking your bony little knuckles on your keyboard shopping app, figure out how much you can actually afford to spend without wrecking your bank account.
Tackling your splurging impulses will save you from your financial nightmare and stop you from trying to impress someone with a price tag.
Here's another newsflash: The best, most meaningful gifts cost nothing.
Try these easy zero or low-cost, yet significant, gift ideas on for size.
Write a letter about all the good times you’ve had with the recipient.
Create a photo album full of memories.
Make their favorite meal.
Deliver a hand-picked bouquet of flowers.
Create a booklet full of unique, personal gift certificates.
Surprise them with a picnic lunch.
Write a personalized poem or song.
Go for a hike together.
Deliver a hot cup of coffee with a pastry.
Spend quality time together.
Play board games.
Even taking someone for a joy ride on the handlebars of a banana bike in downtown Milwaukee after midnight would almost be better than an expensive gold watch you can't afford.
Believe it or not, experiences matter. A picnic, a cup of coffee, or an afternoon of board games beats some ridiculous swanky unwanted gift any day. And hey, it's environmentally friendly – less crap finding its way into landfills and waterways.
And, if you reaaallly think you need to get a gift, but you’re working with a tight budget, think about teaming up with others. Pooling cash with friends or family means the recipient gets something more meaningful and useful instead of a bunch of random junk they can't use or don't want. This saves you from stressing over how you can afford it.
2. It's Not About You – Stop Gifting Your Own Crap
Pssst....
Lean in.
Closer.
I'm about to share a little secret with you, so pay attention.
Giving gifts is supposed to be about the other guy.
Shocking, right?
Your goal when giving gifts is to make the other person happy. Nobody gives a damn what you want.
So leave your serotonin shopping mania at the door and think about the recipient for once. That's right – you can't fool me. I'm human too, ya know. I totally get how smashing it feels for the gift giver to give a gift to the gift givee (that's a lotta gifts). It's downright angelical-harps euphoric.
Buying gifts that you love instead of what the recipient likes is defeating the purpose – not to mention it's kinda sleazy.
Sure, it feels good to give gifts. But the intention of gift-giving isn't about you.
So knock it off already.
When you hand over something that doesn’t fit the person’s vibe, it just comes off as lazy and fake as hell.
Studies show that people would rather get something thoughtful and personal (or nothing at all) rather than some overpriced crap that’s completely irrelevant to them.(2) So do yourself... and them...a favor: pay attention to what they seriously care about.
If you can’t help but throw in your own preferences, find a middle ground. Love gourmet snacks? Fine. But throw in some of that stuff along with things you know they’ll truly enjoy. That way, you make it personal while still keeping it about them.
Surprises can be fun, but if you don’t know exactly what the hell they want, you’re just setting yourself and them up for disappointment.
Here's an easy fix: If you're even the slightest bit unsure, don’t be shy—just ask them what they like.
Effective communication can absolutely change the game when it comes to gift-giving. Casually bring it up in conversation. Not only does this make the whole guessing game less painful, but it helps you connect on a deeper level and not look like such a total idiot.
Wrapping it Up: Finding Balance in Gift-Giving
Gift-giving can be astronomically fun and meaningful for everyone involved if you don’t screw it up.
Stop throwing cash around like it’s going out of style. The price tag is irrelevant.
Forget about buying stuff based on your own damn taste. It's not about you.
If you pay attention to what the other person wants, everyone walks away feeling good. It’s all about understanding them, talking about it, listening, and realizing that thoughtfulness matters way more than price tags.
By using these methods, you’ll make real connections and create memories that count. Just remember: it’s not about the stuff – it’s the love and effort you put into the gift that positively hits home.
It's time to stop being broke, fake, lazy, and self-centered with gift-giving.
Take meaningful action to give what matters: Connections, love, and thoughtfulness.
Resources:
(1) Gillespie, L. (2024, November 22). Bankrate’s 2024 holiday spending report. Bankrate. https://www.bankrate.com/credit-cards/news/holiday-spending-report/#more-than-1-in-4-holiday-shoppers-are-stressed-about-the-cost-of-shopping
(2) Cohen, P. (2021, October 11). Why am I so obsessed with giving people gifts?. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/12/why-am-i-so-obsessed-with-giving-people-gifts
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